Mala day 20

 Week 3 day 6

Did only 15 minutes today. Found voice quite tiring - seems to require lots of effort.

Shravasti Meditation First Event

 Registered for Shravasti meditation talk by Dr Hun Lye at palmelife.org.my

Mala day 19

  Week 3, day 5

No more in covid isolation.  Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat 30-mins cross legged on floor facing balcony. At first the bud-dho recitation was middle pitch. Not very deep. Later, after coughing and clearing throat, it spontaneously dropped to lower pitch. The deep hum appeared and the meditation deeper and soothing. Mind became calm. Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta too.

Mala day 18

 Week 3, day 4

Yesterday forgot to log. Today took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat for 30 cross-legged. Very soothing, pleasant and calm.  Using 12 mm diameter mala beads. Put attention very gently on the bud-dho recitation and just relaxing into it.

Mala day 16

  Week 3, day 2

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat cross-legged on bed for 30 mins. Focused on humming undertone. Very soothing and calm. Enjoyed the sitting. Shared merits with all beings and did some metta, too.

Ending covid isolation today. Rapid antigen tested negative for me and wife.

Mala day 15: deep hum calm + piti (Start of Week 3)

 Week 3, day 1

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat cross-legged on bed for 30 mins. The humming undertone is very soothing and peaceful. Felt piti in middle of head at times. Also heard a third voice - higher pitch bud-dho sound almost like a whisper. There are 3voices running in parallel:

1. bud-dho whisper higher pitched
2. bud-dho sound normal recitation pitch
3. humming low-frequency 

Very good sitting. Felt deeper than previous sittings. Dedicated merits to all beings and also metta.

Mala day 14: 3rd frequency tha

 Week 2, day 7

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts

Sat 30 mins bud-dho and felt peace and calm in the low-humming undertone. But noticed a new 3rd higher frequency "tha" that is in unison with the "dho" sound. When the bud-dho sound sinks into the humming undertone, this "tha" frequency becomes distinct.

Sometimes, also the bud-dho sound become softer and seems to recede further away. Dedicated merits to all beings and also some metta.

To prepare week 2 report for my teacher.

Used another new mala bead today, 10 mm diameter.

Malay day 13: bud-dho sound changes drowns into humming

 Week 2, day 6

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat cross legged on bed for 30 mins. Quite deep calm caused by the undertone humming of bud-dho. Very pleasant.

At times the bud-dho seems to recede further and further and seems to become quieter and quieter. At times it felt like the bud-dho sound drowns into the undertone humming. At times it sounds like it changed its sound to become something else.

In deep calm, it feels like the mind is drowned in the undertone humming. Felt slight piti in head.

Very good session.

Dedicated merits to all beings and also some metta.

Mala day 12: humming sound most calming

 Week 2, day 5

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts.

Sat 45 mins on bed. Humming undertone of the bud-dho sound is still the most pleasant and calming. It draws the mind in and makes it silent.

Felt sleepiness in second half. Straightened spine and aroused piti to overcome it.

After 30 mins, I did TWIM on breath.

Dedicated merits and metta.

Mala day 11: piti in head

 Week 2, day 4

Too 3 refuge and 5 precepts.

Sat cross-legged on bed for 30 mins. When putting attention on bud-dho and the humming vibration, could feel piti in head. At one point, the head shook slightly from side-to-side.

Some distracting thoughts at times. Could easily get back to object of meditation. 

Dedicated merits to all beings and did metta too.

Leigh Brasington's Zoom Talk on Ayya Khema

 

Leigh talks about the history of Ayya Khema and also about how he put all of Ayya's talks on metta in his latest book Path to Peace. Ends with a guided meditation on metta using visualizing a flower garden in your heart and plucking bouquet of flowers to give to your loved ones, strangers, community, country and planet. Hosted on zoom via Sati Center. Below are the details: Teacher: Leigh Brasington Topic: The Life and Time of Ayya Khema and her new book The Path to Peace Date: 20 Sept 2022 at 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm PDT Sponsor: Sati Center Location: Cyberspace via Zoom https://sati.org/event/book-event-leigh-brasington-and-the-path-to-peace/

Below is the private link to the zoom video which I recorded:

https://youtu.be/gyXtcpMpzhM

Leigh is currently in Oakland, California but holds retreats only on zoom due to covid-19

Public youtube video is available here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ov6SGCeA0po

Mala day 10: piti at end of each breath

 Week 2, day 3

Tested covid negative today, but still remain isolated because wife still positive (day 9).

Sat cross legged on bed to do 30 mins. In second half, I put attention on the vibration of the hum in the head and piti arose a little. Pleasant. After a few rounds like this, I no need to put attention on vibration in head, just put awareness on bud-dho and its humming undertone is enough to bring piti. Sometimes my my head shakes sideways because of the piti. 

Piti arises at end of a breath - usually - that is what I noticed. I just let piti be in the background and put attention on bud-dho and its humming. There is also some sukha in the background.

Very good sitting. This confirms piti can be brought up at will. It is now stabilizing. I just need to recite bud-dho and put awareness on the bud-dho and its hum. 

I will let piti arise spontaneously like this in future sittings to let it stabilize more, so that sukha will be more stable. No hurry.

Mala day 9: piti in head overcomes sleepiness

 Week , day 2

Sat 30 mins cross-legged on bed. Felt sleepy at the end, but then I remembered that piti can be used to dispel sleepiness. So, without much effort, I, relaxed and put attention on the vibration of the humming ( buddho undertone) as felt in the head and immediately felt low-level piti in the head. The energy from this piti overcame the sleepiness.

Feels very pleasant and alert when piti arose in the head. The piti feels like ecstasy (excited joy/rapture).

In future sittings, I think I can use piti to:

1. arouse energy
2. arouse pleasure
3. dispel sleepiness
4. enjoy the sitting 

Nice!

I can also get piti from TWIM Meditation by relaxing the hindrances when they arise. In TWIM, I can get piti as follows:

1. when a hindrance arise (eg, restlessness, or ill-will)
2. relax and let go
3. smile

For buddho meditation, I can get piti as follows:

1. when a hindrance arise
2. relax and let go
3. put attention on the vibration of the buddho undertone hum as felt in the head

I will test this out again, in tomorrow's sitting - to confirm that it works.

Also, Ayya Khema says that when piti arises, sukha also arises, but it is covered by piti. In order to feel the sukha, we look for the happiness of the piti - that is the sukha.

However, piti and sukha only arises when there are are no hindrances - that is why the Buddha recommends the pleasure of piti and sukha for the bhikkus to enjoy. These are the supramundane-pleasures that arise only when the mind is secluded from sensual pleasure and secluded from unwholesome states of mind. 

piti --> sukha --> gladness/contentment --> equanimity --> nibbana

With cessation of piti --> sukha

With cessation of sukha --> gladness/contentment

With cessation of gladness/contentment --> equanimity

With cessation of equanimity(feelings/perception) --> nibbana

Mala day 8: sleepy (Week 2 begins)

Week 2, day 1 

Sat cross-legged on bed. 30 mins. Felt sleepy most of the sit. Tried straightening the spine but not much help. So I opened my eyes and that helps to wake up. Mind not focusing enough on the humming undertone like it used to.  Used my new mala bead today. Prior to this I used a dark brown one. Today's mala is brand new and much smoother. Light brown color. 8 mm diameter.

Today is day 7 of covid isolation. Still tested positive on rapid antigen test kit.

Dedicated merits to all beings and also metta.

Mala book project: Started today

 Today, I started a new kindle book project at kdp.amazon.com on a book about buddho meditation using a mala. Downloaded the paperback template from amazon:

https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G201834230

And use the 6" x 9" template with sample content as a starting point.  Tbe above link also contains useful tips for formatting and adding or deleting pages, sections, etc...

This book will be to document my learning experience with my master.

How to create a TOC for kindle ebook:

https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G201605700

Useful

Mala Day 7: Reporting

 Sat cross-legged on bed. Did 30 mins. Drowsy at close to end of session. Sat straighter.   I still felt the soothing calm of the resonant sonorous humming undertone.  Got some background thoughts but still felt calm and pleasant. Whenever sounds or thoughts distract my attention, I gently let them be and return attention to the recitation undertone (humming). Occasionally, the attention goes to the fingers moving the beads, especially when it gets a little stuck, or, when the gurubead comes. But eventually attention goes back to the humming undertone. 

To prepare report for my master.

Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta.

Summary of week 1 (Sept 11 to 17)

1. Sitting is quite pleasant and calming.
2. Easier to stay on object of meditation as compared to other meditations (eg metta and breath).
3. The thing most pleasant about this technique is the undertone humming sound. The vibration is felt in the chest and head and sometimes permeates the body. The mind is just blank. Because the feeling is so pleasant it is easy to stay in it.
4. Unfortunately, when I use up the breath and take the next inhale, that calm is broken. But it comes back again with the next round of recitation and stays until the breath runs out again. So this process repeats itself until my handphone timer sounds at the 30th min.
5. Because of the pleasure felt in this meditation, the 5 hindrances rarely comes up. Restlessness is the easiest to let go - just come back to the humming undertone and the hindrance falls away. No force needed - it is quite natural - the mind prefers the soothing vibration than the restless thoughts.
6. But for sleepiness - I had to straighten my spine and sit up straighter - and that helps.
7. No issues with ill-will as I practice metta on and off the cushion - and I also smile a lot. Something I learnt from my TWIM meditation practice.
8. Sensual craving is also not an issue. The mind is quite contented with the pleasure from this meditation.
9. When not sitting in meditation, and craving or resistance arises, the mind sometimes sees that the dukkha is caused by the craving and the resistance. The mind then sees the anatta in the object of craving and that brings a big relief.
10. The mind sees that when trying to control a feeling, there is dukkha.
11. The mind also sees anicca - the feeling and thoughts arise on their own without the me causing it to arise, because of this seeing, the mind then sees anatta. The thoughts and feelings are not me or mine.
12. Unfortunately, the insights are only seen briefly. They do not sustain throughout the day.

Mala day 6: soothing

 Still on covid isolation day 5. Sat cross-legged on bed in bedroom. Although there were background thoughts I still felt the soothing calm of the resonant sonorous humming undertone.  I noticed there are 2 frequencies in parallel. The bud-dho frequency and the humming undertone frequency. This reminds me of binaural beats.

Today I let go of wanting to control recitation speed and mala movements. Just let them be spontaneous and natural.

The best sitting so far.

Feeling much better from covid. Drank Ah Huat coffee. Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta.

Mala day 5: sleepiness

 Sat on bed 2pm. Did 30 mins. Felt sleepy and dozed off at around 20 mins. Also, mind more restless. Tried lifting up beads for awhile. Not sure if it helped.

Still on covid isolation day 4 in bedroom. Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta.

Mala day 3

 9.30 to 10.00 sat cross legged on bed . Hands on legs holding mala. Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Have frequent itchiness in throat, and coughing  but I persisted. The undertone hum is peaceful. 

Day 2 covid isolation.

Mala day 2

 Had covid symptoms since yesterday nose pain sore throat and cough. Tested positive today. Quarantine day 1 in bedroom starting today together with wife who is also positive. 

10 pm sat on bed cross-legged. Resting hands on legs. Did 30 mins. Very peaceful.  Sonorous humming overtones. Trancelike and pleasant. 

Mala day 1: Start of Buddho Meditation Using Mala

 Today I start mala using buddho as mantra. Sat on floor cross-legged. Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Put cushion on legs and rested hands on cushion. Crossed the mala in infinity ♾ shape with left thumb-forefinger on 1st bead after gurubead and right thumb-forefinger on opposite side of mala. Recite bud and move left bead. Recite dho and move right bead. There is a sonorous humming undertone. Felt like in a trance state. Quite peaceful and pleasant. I did 2 sittings one at 1 am and another at 7 am.

1 am sitting : did 30 mins then realized time flew so fast. Then continued another 15 mins which also felt very fast. Total 45 mins. 

7 am sitting:  is 30 mins. Time also flew very fast.

Here is a demo of the technique:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i36GsCyeyJw

Some tips:

Do not visualize the Buddha, or, recall the Buddha's qualities - it is a hindrance. Just listen to the sound.

Do at least 20 mins each day for 6 weeks minimum.

Sit cross legged on floor, either (a) hold mala up in air, or, (b) resting hands on legs, or on (c) cushion on legs

When you reach the gurubead - don't pause, continue to recite.

Whenever you have used up a breath, take your time to breathe in normally and recite again. It can be either through the nose or the mouth.

You can move the beads in left hand and right hand simultaneously, or, left, then, right alternately.

Do no put or let the mala touch the ground during meditation.

Supposed to do 6 weeks of 30-mins each day and report to master after 1 week, then weekly reports.

PS

Today I had covid symptoms, but only confirmed with Test Kit the next day. Today is day 0 of covid.

Coincidence:

Today is 9/11 + covid + start of mala

Jhana metta and wisdom

 8 am. Sat on floor facing balcony. No wind. Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Then remembered yesterday when I was kind to an old lady pushing a trolley collecting cardboards. A smile came, I felt metta and after a while piti arose.  I also recalled yesterday where a kind lady at market who sold me a $28 mala. It also brought up metta.

I used relax  smile and metta constantly. When the metta no longer felt   I did wisdom by contemplating anicca, dukkha and anatta. Sukha arose and I abided in it. Piti also arose repeatedly. The background piti  kept me going for 45 mins.

Mindfulness was quite strong. It allowed me to do wisdom quite well. I could see dukkha caused by craving and also saw anatta. My suffering is self-inflicted when I wanted to control things. When I see anatta, it was a major relief.

I also saw the futility of seeking fulfillment in anything because of anicca.

Since yesterday I am able to see anicca, dukha and anatta. Last night while lying in bed to sleep, anatta was strong. My mind was so peaceful. 

My brief spiritual background and attainments

Brief Biography

 I am 59 years old and live in Penang, Malaysia. I am semi retired doing online teaching (computing).  During my younger days, I often have spontaneous out-of-body experience (astral projections?)  and also seeing apparitions (ghosts?), and hearing sounds which nobody else hears (eg footsteps on the roof). However, I learn to suppress all of those experiences  as they were quite frightening.  And today I don't experience them anymore, except for the occasional astral projection which I always suppress when it is about to begin. It always starts with total body paralysis with mind fully awake, then vibration over entire body. That's when, I would suppress it and it goes away.  I often have flying dreams which can be quite lucid at times - although I never intended them. I dream of flying and hovering over many places and it was quite pleasant. Nowadays I also often dream of places I have never seen or people I have never met before (past life?) - and these dreams could be very lucid with intimate details including the strong emotions in them as well.

Meditation techniques that I have tried:

1. TM (Transcendental Meditation) and TM-Siddhi

2. Anapanasati based on MN118

3. Vipassana based on Mahasi Sayadaw's teachings

4. Metta and TWIM (Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation) as taught by Bhante Vimalaramsi

5. Jhana Meditation as taught by Leigh Brasington.

6. AUM (OM) meditation as taught by Tomer Weiss

Attainments to-date:

1. 1st and 2nd Jhana.

2. Uncontrollable astral projection

Jhana 1 using 6Rs with Breath

 7.30 am

Sat cross legged on floor facing balcony. Cold morning. Using 6R and Breath. Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Not focused on breath, but just knowing it in the background. Foreground is the pleasure from smiling. 

Each time a distraction occurs, I relax (2-3 secs as advocated by Ven. Khanti Khema), smiled and returned to the breath. Keeping the breath always in the background and not the focus. David Johnson warns to be always just 'knowing' that you are breathing but not focusing on it.

I got piti easily and just let it be. Sat for 45 mins.

11 am

Followed Ven Obhasa on zoom where she led a guided meditation. Here is the private video:

https://youtu.be/4q__jEzV31s

She teach to visualize a lotus flower slowly opening until all its petals are opening right to the head and the top. At this point, I experienced piti on that point on the top of the head.

Then, I visualized Delson Armstrong (my spiritual friend) and wished him happiness.. And did this for some time.

Sat for about 30 mins.

3.30 pm

Sat for 45 mins. Did TWIM on breath. Got to 1st Jhana easily, accompanied by piti and some sukha. Saw a blue colored nimitta. This is first time it is blue - navy blue. Also saw black nimitta with white ring surrounding it, with white pin-points lights. Could control the piti easily.

Tricky bit trying to know the breath without focusing on it. 

Jhana with aum and nimitta

 Morning:

After breakfast at 7.30, did a sitting in hall facing balcony. Did AUM and in the middle syllable - U -, felt the overtone and immediately piti arose in the head.  I abided in it. 

Evening:

At around 3.30 pm, did 3 different meditations. Started with Buddhadasa's anapanasati. Step 1, 2, 3 and 4 (1st tetrad).  1 = Long breath, 2 = short breath, 3 = breath + body (breath is body conditioner) and 4 = calming breath (body conditioner). No piti. At step 4, tried to get nimitta but there was none. Supposed open or half-open eyes and gaze downwards at direction of tip of nose and watch the breath there - to get nimitta. 

Felt sleepy and switched to 2nd meditation which is TWIM/brasington, relax with outbreath, smile and immediately got the piti. Used it to overcome sloth/torpor (one of the 5 hindrances). Body vibrated as usual.

In the last 15 mins, I switched to AUM meditation. Again felt the piti at the second syllable - U - It was in the middle of the head - quite nice.

Summary:

Buddhadasa's explanation on Anapanasati's 16 steps is better than the Bikkhu Bodhi's Majjhima Nikaya. He explains the breath-body conditions physical body. And so we do step 3 to understand how the breath and body are related. Step 1 and 2 are preparatory to step 3. Then, in step 4, we actually try to calm the breath-body (body conditioner) so that the body is calm. The goal of step 4 is to get piti/sukha so that we can do the 2nd tetrad. But to get piti/sukha we need to get a nimitta.

Jhana 1/2: Contentment after 30 mins

 Sat on floor facing balcony with fan blowing. Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Immediately got piti. No interference with piti - just let it be.

Used app called Insight Timer and set 15 mins bowl sound at 0, 15, 30 and 45 mins. After 30 mins, piti calmned down I felt contentment (sukha) in face area. I was smiling widely.

Jhana 1 and 2: Nimitta at below eye-level

 Sat on floor facing balcony. No wind, so I used a fan blowing at me. Took 3 refuge and 5 precept. At the end of the precept, piti started automatically. I abide in the piti which is in the head.

Whenever I straightened the spine, the piti went to the legs. If I tilt my head up, it went to the base of the head - quite nice. Like massaging the back of my head - tingly.

Regularly calmned the piti by taking deep breath and exhaling. After awhile the nimitta appeared. It was like a concentric circle, sometimes gray sometimes white. At slightly below eye level - not at 3rd eye. I just focused on it. Quite concentrated mind. The nimitta fades, but, I don't mind. If it is there, I will focus on it, if not there, I just abided in the piti.

45 mins sit.

Jhana 1 and 2

 Sat on floor facing balcony in hall. Recording video of 45 mins session. Gentle wind blowing in face. Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. And almost immediately piti started in head. Relaxed and let go and piti increases. Take deep breath and exhale and piti calms down. 

When restlessness came, non-resistance and relax and piti came up. Straightened spine and piti moved to legs. Tried to feel piti in 3rd eye - without success. Just forget about trying to control anything. Just let it go and relax and enjoy whatever is present - piti.

After 40 mins, piti calmed down leaving content - sukha - Maybe 2nd Jhana. Timer sounded at 45 mins.

This is the private video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqpupH92Xis

Jhana 1 - nimitta and piti in 3rd eye

 Sat in hall facing balcony. Gentle wind blowing into my face. Took 3 refuge, then 5 precepts, then even before I relax, I felt piti in my head. I then relax and let go smiled and the piti grew stronger but I do not allow it to erupt - just intention and relax will control the piti.

After while, I straightened by spine and the piti moved down to my legs which began flapping on the meditation mat. My breath became huff-puff. I brought the piti down to manageable levels again, by intention and relaxation. 

I relax and smiled and sense the sukha from the smile and soon the nimitta appear, as a gray circle. I thought it was supposed to be white and bright. It fluctuates in intensity. It is in the 3rd eye and then, piti moved there - to the third eye. I felt really concentrated then.

I will try to explore this nimitta and 3rd eye piti in next sitting.

Generally piti is at the base of my skull but today it moved to the 3rd eye because of the the nimitta there.

Jhana 1 sep 2 - piti back of head

 After breakfast at 8am, I sat on edge of bed and relax and piti started easily. Then, I lay down to sleep. In evening from 6.15 to 7, sat cross legged on bed. Fan blowing on face. Easily brought up piti. Was sleepy and I used piti to sit 45 mins. 

If I straighten spine and tilt head up, piti went to inside base of head. Like a tingly feeling.  Can control it small and not let it erupt. Nice.

r1

Jhana 1 - easy entry, touched Jhana 2?

Early in the morning at around 8 am, after breakfast. Went into bed and lay down. Just relax and let go and smile gently. I could feel mild piti in head. Then I let go and tried to sleep..  

I sat cross legged on bed, with fan blowing on face. Time: 12 noon. Relax and let go, smiled. And I could immediately get the piti in the head. I then sat upright and straightened my spine and the piti shot down via the spine to the hips and both legs. Both legs started flapping like a bird. My breath became gasping, huff-puff-huff... 

I take a deep breath and exhale gently and the piti calmned down. If I straightened the spine upright, the piti again shot down via the spine to the hips and legs and legs started flapping again. And again I take a deep breath and exhaled and the piti calmed down again. 

And so I practised bringing in on and calming it down repeatedly in this way until the timer went off at 45 mins.

I also noticed if I take deep breaths and bring down the piti repeatedly in succession, the piti reduced to almost nothing but there is still some pleasure (sukha). And there is also confidence. Could this be Jhana 2? Confidence that I am now able to enter Jhana 1 at will and maybe even touched Jhana 2.

r0

Bought Visuddhimagga and got a free coppy of Vimuttimagga from Sukhi Hotu Bookshop